What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 23.06.2025 08:54
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My life is so biszare .
Famous 'ice-age puppies' are not actually dogs, according to new study - Earth.com
My family never makes their pension either.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
What are Chinese hot pot restaurants? What do they serve, and why is it so popular in China?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
USMNT vs. Trinidad and Tobago: Starting XI & Lineup Notes - US Soccer
She loved him until the end.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Which new book genres have emerged in the past decade?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Should we consider deporting democrats to Canada?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
What did i know ?
Wells Fargo Stock Rises as Fed Lifts Asset Cap After 7 Years - Barron's
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
What are some sunscreens for oily skin that works under foundation?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
How do you weigh in on the Vance-couch conversation?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He knew the spot.
Solar 'cannonballs' may have stripped Mars of its water, long-awaited study reveals - Live Science
We were not on the streets..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Sam Burns leads US Open with 65 and avoids calamity at Oakmont - AP News
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
When she asked me how she looked .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I was scared of men, in general
She found it foreign!.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
It was going to be , some day.
And i lived it daily.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But, we were locked up after school.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I couldn’t, believe it.
But it wasn’t much.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I think the readers, may guess!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I said to her
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
(And it was in our own minds.)
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I was very sick at this time too.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Who then, do I blame.?
Put me off passion for life!!
So, i spoilt her more .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I could never make a relationship work though!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
We all went to grammer schools
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
She wouldn,t have been !
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
This is soul school!.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Was to survive, this bastard.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I write beautiful poetry .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I never cut or harmed myself..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
She was in good health!
I will be 64.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
As i do to all so called friends.?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Comes on , in middle age.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Im still living with it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Why did i forgive my father ?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I waited trembling.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He resisted the act ,that day.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
All the time i was locked up.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I have no regrets .
One cannot live in the past .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Ive learnt so much.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was 9 years of age.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But ive been too sick for many years..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Would this be the day?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I was seconnd youngest,
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
So whats the point in blame.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She married twice! .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I don,t even have a pension.